I don’t want to live life “getting healthy”. To me that means focusing on myself most of the day. Right now I have a pile of kittens on my lap, playing and snuggling. They are a sweet addition to my many duties. Chicks are in a couple pens growing and will go to freezer camp in July, providing good, healthy meat for the next year. The garden is still not planted…. maybe today since it is a misty day and I really want to preserve my harvest. My usual cooking and cleaning… which I need to do a better job at! Then there are people!! They are my favorite “things” to focus on! My energy level doesn’t allow for as much as my heart wants to do. I bet you can run circles around me!
I read this morning in Galatians 6:2, “Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.” and then in vs. 5, “For each will have to bear his own load.” I am praying for wisdom to balance those out in my life. What is my load and what is my burden? And what is another’s load and what is another’s burden?
There are other issues I need prayer for. I can’t go into details but it is not about my health. My heart is heavy at times with this burden and yet, I see God’s hand in it already and for that I am grateful. I don’t know about you, but I bounce around…. trust then fear then repent…. repeat.
Thank you for praying and encouraging me. I have no tumors! Praise God!
Wow, am I tired though! Such a long couple days. Ready for a long nap! I see an eye doctor next week and I’ll have him check to see if it is torn retina. Way easier than brain tumors, I am thinking!
I appreciate your prayers. I have been having bright flashes in my eye for a couple months. I told Dr. Ben Chue, my oncologist, about it 3 weeks ago and he said let’s do a brain MRI a month early and see what is going on. Then the bright flashes went away and I only see duller ones and different visual disturbances. My MRI is at 3pm today. I will get the results tomorrow at Dr. Vermeullen’s office. I wanted to see her since she had breast cancer recently and had surgery. It will be good to see her and hear how she is doing. And since the results could be hard, my mom is coming with me. (Thank you, Mom!! I love you!) I heard the news about my first brain tumors alone…. I don’t want to do that again.
And a bright thought…. it could be retinal tearing rather than a tumor, so I made an eye doctor appointment for next week. 🙂 Really, I am praying that neither are there and that God heals me, and I trust Him.
So, off to my morning, dealing with lack of sleep (up since 1:30am) and I have a headache, but I am looking forward to spending some deep time with my Lord.
I just thought I’d give a quick update on my health since it has been a while. I had a brain MRI in December 2018 and it showed a spot that had been treated 2.5 years ago, enlarging a wee bit. Scar tissue does that and then usually shrinks down again, but to be sure my doctor ordered a PET scan. That showed it as indeed scar tissue and NOT cancer! Praise God!
So, I am continuing in my targeted therapy every 3 weeks to keep the cancer away. I work with 2 naturopaths who appreciate each other’s specialties. Isn’t that refreshing?! One focuses on cancer and one specializes in adrenal dysfunction. I feel like I am making progress in my adrenal failure. I am pretty sure that is a missing puzzle piece to my overall health. I have hope that when the adrenals are better, that many areas of my body will be healthier! Makes me think of the song, “the knee bone’s connected to the thigh bone. The thigh bone’s connected to the hip bone….” as our body is all interconnected and so complex!
It has been wonderful to see growth in loved ones under grace, rather than shame. I have sensed God’s sweet mercy in our lives and theirs. Isn’t it amazing how God can work in someone’s life by His mighty power alone? Sitting under teaching full of grace, encouragement, believing the best, words of hope, a spirit of joy- has been wonderful, not only for me but for a few that I know!
I could share stories of many lives changed by grace, but I am not sure they want their deep personal experiences shared on the internet. It gives me such hope and gratitude in the LORD! Things I only dreamed of are happening in a few lives that I know, and I stand in awe of our great God and Saviour!
You may wonder what is the connection with the kittens and God’s amazing work in our lives…. orphans, fed and loved by us, confident in their owners arms…. well you can make the connection to how God treats us and loves us, right? I thought so. I pray the Lord blesses you.
Through the years God has used many people and ways to grow me.
When I was first saved it was through a woman’s sacrifice, love, service and prayers. She discipled me for a year or so while at the same church, then she left. I sorrowed over her leaving! How could I keep growing in the Lord without her to cling to? But she reminded me that God is a jealous God and wants us to cling to Him. I needed to hear and practice that. She stayed in my life by phone and visits, so she was still able to pass on God’s wisdom to me, which was a blessing.
Different churches we have been in have grown me too. There are people that spoke into my life and God used it to grow me closer to Him. Sometimes a pastor, sometimes a fellow sheep.
Then cancer. God used that huge trial to draw me closer to Him. People that I didn’t even know passed on quotes that encouraged and fed me. Others I knew but not super well, passed on books that taught me more of Who God is and grew me closer to Him. In places I least expected it, God met me.
As I read through the Bible year after year, God met me there the most! He still does, on a daily basis, but I remember sorrowing over something to do with the cancer and I was reading in Leviticus; God comforted me in the middle of Leviticus! His Word is alive and active! And the Holy Spirit speaks to us. Sometimes through the Bible and sometimes through people.
I would drive a friend to church and many times she would say something to me that the Holy Spirit put on her heart. And every time it was something she didn’t know I needed to hear! God is powerful and doesn’t fit inside a box, does He?
So grateful that He uses many means to speak to our hearts! He is our Great God and King. Our Father. Our Champion. Our Refuge in times of trouble. Our Provider. Mmmmmm…. I could keep going. I love to meditate on Who He is! The Puritans have been such great reading lately, and God is using them to grow me into more Christlikeness. I am far, far, far from being Christlike, yet God loves me, covers me in Christ’s righteousness, cherishes me, pursues me and shepherds me. I am SO GRATEFUL!